This is a video of me bungee jumping in Ecuador.  It's funny to have the most nervous moment of my entire life captured on film.

I wish I could have done the bridge jump with some smooth panache, but I couldn't even stand up straight and almost backed out of the whole thing by inelegantly screeching "I can't!" after the first count down.  I now notice that the count downs were in English, which was considerate of the audience.

I told Jenn right after that when I stood on the bridge and looked down, I felt like this had to be what it's like to commit suicide by jumping off of a building, and then I thought about how messed up it was that I was doing that FOR FUN.

Did I mention that I paid $10 for this?  In a regulated first world country it probably would be like $200.  There was literally no waiver forms to sign or any kind of instruction other than a man telling me to dive forward in Spanish, which I had totally lost the ability to speak because my brain was so fried.

Once my feet were off the bridge I was fine, because it was done.  Once I hit the bottom and started the part where you sway back and forth, I was in total jubilation.



what i do all day

Since I stopped going to work two years ago, I get asked how I fill my time by pretty much everyone I know.

What are the Lindsey Activities:

1. Blog!  I've been not so great about this lately.  I'm not sure why but I've been feeling very self conscious about putting stuff on the internet.

2. Curate my Etsy shop.  Taking photos of clothes, coming up with clever descriptions that make the item of clothing seem desirable to consumers, pulling prices out of my ass, then when I'm lucky I mail out orders.

3. Yoga and walking.  It is essential to my well-being to leave the house and sweat.

4. I spend a ton of time tidying up - laundry, dishes, clothing piles, mail piles, clearing counter tops, rearranging knick knacks, organizing my closet, nesting in general.

5. James' errands - taking in dry cleaning, getting the oil changed in his car, taking his roller blades to the shop, dropping shoes off at the cobbler, silly work problems that he's too busy for.  I did meet him as his assistant, after all, and I like running around taking care of small tasks.

6.  Hanging out with Jake or Mister Dog.  Lots of one sided conversations about if the dog is or is not a good boy.  The debate rages on.

7. I like reading and could easily do it all day if I felt okay about laying in bed for ten hours straight.  I used to read for like an hour when I woke up, but that always resulted in me falling asleep again until like 10am, which makes me feel like a piece of shit.  Same with reading on the couch after lunch - I end up napping and waking up wondering where the day went.  So I don't read as much as you'd think during the day.

8.  Wedding planning.  I read vendor reviews, compare prices, make calls with questions, think about ways to make the party more fun, scheme up cost savings ideas.  This is a recent element and opens up a whole new world of stuff to do.

9.  I try to see my parents a lot.  I drop by their house or go out to lunch with them.

10. Lots of time spent in transit between Long Beach and Pasadena.  This can be a delicate dance due to traffic.  I have become adept at sherpa-ing things to take to and fro, and it always takes an extra ten minutes to run around gathering things I need to schlep.

11. I frequent the grocery store.

12.  Okay this should have been waaaay up on the list but if I know someone with a real estate related requirement, I attend to it.  That's my job.

13.  I usually have some kind of vacation planned and I love to go online and research whatever city I'm next off to (ugh so many prepositions not used correctly!).  I can spend all day on Kayak and Yelp and Trip Advisor.  I made a google docs spreadsheet for my three day trip to Sedona next week and I loved every minute of it.

Questions people might have:

Do you get bored?
No, I really don't.  I'm a full-on homebody, not just "at this age" or in a Serious Relationship, but I've always, my whole life, really enjoyed being at home.

Do you want a real job?
No.  Like, not at all.

But don't you need money?
Yes, because my savings is deteriorating and my fiance is probably starting to question my worth as a partner, so I'll definitely need to get a job soon or become gung ho about being a realtor.

Do you want to come spend a Tuesday morning getting drunk at my place?
Yes, I do!  I would feel like a gigantic piece of shit if I did that every day, but it turns out that not very many people have a free weekday to spend boozing with me, so if an opportunity arises, I'm down.

Does James care?
Uh, yeah, he does.  He works really hard and wants to be a normal adult couple who buys property and can afford to go on nice vacations.  That's why this cannot be permanent.

So does he just, like, pay for all your shit?
He pays for groceries, booze, and restaurant meals - basically the stuff we do and consume as a couple.  I pay for my own scant expenditures from the aforementioned savings pot.  We are lucky to not have many of monthly bills.

What about real estate?
I'm not sure.  I know now that I don't have the drive or scrap to work when I don't absolutely have to.  I'd rather be poor and leisurely than rolling in the dough and hustling.  In real estate you really have to promote yourself to everyone you know which is something that immensely embarrasses me.  There are aspects about it that I like (architecture, unique decor and finishes, driving around new neighborhoods looking at houses, helping people buy what they want, not being in an office all day, hell even paperwork is fine with me) but I'm just not sure.

So if you have no career aspirations, who even are you?  Do you have interests?
My interests include but are not limited to: traveling, eating, talking about life ('n' shit), funny outfits, humanity in different decades/centuries, culture in different parts of the world, writing, decorating, laughing, observing.  Unfortunately, monetizing any of these things is difficult and would probably ruin them for me anyway.  I'm interested in a ton of things, too bad my career is not one of them.

Some epiphanies I've had over the last two years:

-Time is the most valuable commodity.  It's insanely luxurious to have time.  I look at really successful people running around and think that it must be nice to have a shit-ton of money, but doesn't the hyper-scheduling make a person insane?  When do you relax, the ten minutes you're home before you go to bed?  Are all these people on adderall or what?

-There is a right way and a wrong way to stay home all day, and you have to constantly evaluate your activities to make sure you're doing it right for who you are.  For example, in my first month after I quit my property manager job, I watched Netflix in my pajamas all day.  This is what I want to do at my basest level because it's easy, but over the long term it makes me sad to be physically and mentally inactive.  I now avoid turning on Netflix before James gets home.

-Not spending money is incredibly liberating.  I don't buy coffee or restaurant lunch, and I don't buy clothes.  All the savings provides me with time that I don't have to work.

-I've never had a real career goal.  Is this something that's okay to not have or am I missing some kind of deeper calling?  I'm leaning toward the former.

-If you don't ever think about what your ideal (but realistic) job is, you'll never figure it out.  I have been avoiding this question since like high school.  It's possible to shrug and just go on like you have been.

wedding photographer / times i've been wrong

Part 1.  Wedding Photographer
Because planning a big party is more fun than working for a living, I've been really caught up in getting the wedding all organized and shit.  The date is set, the venue is booked, a taco cart is reserved.  The task at hand during the next week or so is to chose a photographer.

Most married people I know (not all, ahem, AM) say,
"Oh my god, the photographer is SO important.  It will make or break the memory of your wedding because it lasts a lifetime.  You should spend as much as you can to find a good one.  At least two thousand dollars.  Most photographers will even throw in an engagement photo shoot for free if you book with them.  I personally regret not spending more money to get the most talented photographer."
Most not-married people I know say,
"Jesus, it costs that much?  Why?  Why can't you just have a friend take pictures?"
And most of the older people I know, meaning like our parents (who did not have big weddings and I doubt they even paid anyone to take pictures so why they would even consider this expense important is beyond me) say,
"Well you know Linds, it's a special day, I wouldn't feel bad about spending some money on it."
In thinking about the best choice for James* and me, there are two schools of thought here that I've been thinking about.

1. Go with your gut.  Do what you think is right.  Tradition doesn't matter.


2.  If all of these people have had this experience and swear its worth it, maybe it is and I should listen to them.

*Actually, James is totally fine with spending a ton of money on this and is not currently faced with the same spaztastic existential crisis as your truly.

Part 2.  Times I've Been Wrong.
Once I neatly categorized this dilemma, I started thinking about how that's pretty much all that life is.  It's either going with your instincts and being happy that you stayed true to yourself, or it's learning through experience that you're not always right and there's a reason seemingly everyone thinks a certain way.

I can think of a ton of times where I thought I would go against society and later learned that I was an idiot:

- "I will always listen to punk rock" - high school lindsey
- "My parents don't know anything" - again, high school lindsey
- "I'd rather live in an old run down house with character than a cookie cutter new building" - 2009 era lindsey, because do you know how awesome it is to never worry about a parking spot or hear your neighbors through the walls and to be able to do your laundry at home and have a freakin' machine to wash your dirty dishes?  New construction is great.  This is sort of a micro-explanation is why people move to the 'burbs, another thing that I "won't ever do."
- "You can't really put a title onto our relationship, because that stuff isn't important and I don't care what other people think normal dating is" - about to get hurt by a boy who obviously didn't care about her lindsey
- "I don't care if I gain weight" - college freshman lindsey . I was wrong because being thin is better.  It won't make you 100% happy, but it really doesn't hurt.  There I said it.
- "I'm never going to work a soulless 9-5 office job, I'll figure something else out!" - recent college grad lindsey
- "Worrying about skin cancer is boring" - 20 year old bronzed lindsey
- "I think guys and girls can totally be Just Friends" - naive teenage lindsey, whose guy "friends" would probably have sacrificed that friendship in a second for a chance to get so much as a handy
- "I could watch Happy Gilmore a billion times and it would still be the best movie ever" - twenty year old lindsey
- "Why would anyone have to spend more than a few hundred bucks on a wedding" - just one year ago lindsey (see, I'm tying it in here)

Now here are some ways that I haven't totally conformed (yet?):
- No plans for having kids
- I don't care about buying a house or think it's like the end all be all of one's adult existence (Caveat alert! I do see how its great for a lot of people)
- I avoid talking about weather (but dude it's like 80 degrees today!  wwwhhhyyyy)
- There aren't many places where I would not travel
- I just don't think careers are that important
- I sincerely think engagement photos are pompous and silly and if we were to do one I'd be kind of embarrassed to show anyone and would probably just feel like it's this huge joke like "hiiii here we are on the beeeaaaaccchhhh at suuuuuunset and don't we look pretty and in loooovvveeeee???"  This last part is obviously meant to be said in a flamboyantly gay voice.

Here's your engagement photo.  Taken in 2010 by a friend at no charge with a normal camera.

So, What To Do
Sometimes it really helps to just write it out, because after typing up all that, I think, who cares about wedding photography?  I'll either pick someone talented and pay them a price I'm comfortable with, or I'll just ask a friend to do it.  I'll make a decision and move on and the world won't end either way.


As I was gathering empty cans of Coors Light to throw away this morning, I realized that I've been squandering an amazing opportunity to cash in on all of the cans and bottles we throw away.

Around here, we are boozers.  I started saving wine bottles last week for the vague purpose of maybe using them for wedding decor.  They have added up quickly- there are like twenty lined up on the counter.

I'll skip the part about being alarmed by the tangible proof of how much alcohol we drink, because it's wine and beer- those things don't count!

Instead, I'll be alarmed at how long it's been since I've made any money. 

 I'm also alarmed at how I haven't even attempted to separate my trash into recycling since the days in Isla Vista when you'd just out all of your bottles and cans on the lawn for the career recyclers to pick up.  That's called environmental guilt, guys.

Anyway, I'll be sure to update on my little money making earth saving scheme.



Here are the professional beauty things  that I'd like to do in the weeks before the wedding.

This list is so long that I feel like a legit crazy person.  Then again, I'm going to look so good.

Manicure with acrylic nails
Hair extensions 
Brazilian keratin blowout for hair
Hair color
Full body wax
Body scrub treatment
Spray tan
Eyebrow wax
Eyelash tint
Pro fake lashes/lash extensions
Teeth whitening
Colonic treatment 
Body wrap
Lip fillers

Day of
Professional hair styling
Professional makeup

I could continue!  I could get Botox, or a nose job, or a boob job!


new additions to fraululu shop

Salute these shorts

These are my favorite shorts in the entire world.  I have an Etsy shop and have been feverishly listing any item of vintage clothing I have, but I wouldn't sell these.  Sometimes when I scan my closet, I think about it but I honestly want to have them for the rest of my life.  

Maybe I'll list them for like $200 and see what happens.  I'd probably sell them for $200 but even then I'd feel some mixed emotions and would periodically think of them.

I bought them at a thrift store in college.  They were actually pants back then, and I bought them planning to cut them off.  I also cut the top part off because the whole Britney Spears low rider jeans thing was in and we never thought that thong-showing style would change.  Actually now that I think about it, I cut them there because I couldn't button them up all the way.  Ha! Don't ever let clothes tell you they don't fit you!

They are Levi's and they are torn the hell up with a gigantic hole in the part where the rump meets the thigh (because now we're talking in butcher euphemisms).

I wear them with a tshirt, a tan, and Rainbow sandals.  I don't care what fashionable people say, I love flip flops more than any other shoes.

Never let the shorts die.

Never let the Rainbows die.

Never let the old shirt die.



Once upon a time, James and I had a roommate who had a cat.  This sort of meant that we had a cat.

He was a really sweet kitty.  He was some kind of special breed and did not have ears nor a tail.  He loved laying across James warm laptop while James tried to work in bed.

Whatever his real name was, we didn't think it fit him.  So we called him Noobles.

He killed a bird in the condo once.  He peed on our down comforter twice.

I wonder if he is still alive.